Who said anything about flying?

After watching the 1980 Grandfinal over breakfast I decide to head out for a much needed hair cut and discuss the preseason with Joe, my barber, who also happens to be a massive Richmond fan. As soon I’m in the chair he asks me what I think. I don’t even have to ask who he’s talking about. I know he’s talking about Ben Cousins, the former Eagle and now boom Richmond recruit. Joe’s keeping a brand new Richmond geurnsey in the store waiting for Ben to walk past so he can sign it. Apparently he is a local. My mind wonders for a second as I too dream of Ben Cousins signed jumpers. Joe reckons we can get 3 or 4 years out of him. I’m a little more optimistic and I’m hoping he follows in Banger Harvey’s footsteps, although I know this is a little too glass half full.

Being the preseason it also means I am on holidays as I’m a teacher. Hence the full four quarters of KB, St Francis, the Flea and the General tearing the Pies a new one in the morning. And so with plenty of time on my hands, some would say too much if you can watch 28 year old games of footy over breakfast, I head to MSAC for a swim. As I’m taking one of my many breaks, my body slumped over the edge of the pool and gasping for breath I see Robbo walk by with a host of other Melbourne players. Most of which I don’t recognize. Probably something to do with Melbourne games never being on TV, consigned to the Pergatory like time slot of twilight Sunday games at the ‘G’. I’m guessing that I’m in not in too dissimilar a position to most Melbourne fans in this regard as at the two non-richmond games I went to, with my Melbourne supporter housemate, players almost outnumbered supporters. Sitting next to Dan, my housemate, and listening to the constant barrage of expletives followed by constant stifled yells of kick it, just bloody kick it. And “Don’t *&$@ing handball it, you’re not *&%#ing Geelong” it must have been akin to torture, leaving only the bravest non downhill skiing supporters to trouble the turnstiles.

Although I have been optimistic in regards to Melbourne’s future, noticing that Russel Robertson is only my size and, apart from Jack Watts (I refuse to count Juice Newton and Brad Millar) I realize that Melbourne’s 2009 is already down the gurgler as Robbo is Melbourne’s only key forward and I’m not exactly an Adonis. I make a mental note to invest in Melbourne winning the spoon next time I’m in a TAB.

But back to the Tigers. ‘The Herald Sun’ and ‘The Age’ (I do have a lot of time on my hands but not enough to risk possible Rugby Union or Rugby League news to check ‘The Australian’) has an article about… you guessed it… Ben Cousins. They can’t get enough of him. And fair enough. Even Bucks is happy to see him pull on the boots again. Not to mention the fact that Richmond supporters, starved of success, are like the ancient Hebrews waiting for the Messiah. Lo and behold one of the candidates for the open messiah position is the source. Young Brett Deledio is of the opinion that Cousins is training the house down and even needs to be held back a bit. I scour the rest of the paper for football news. Being the preseason I am desperate. Thankfully there is some in the HUN. Essendon have a 205cm 84kg ruckman. I can’t help but notice that he is extremely white for this time of year and things probably won’t change either for the next 3 or 4 years as the club keep him locked in the gym and force feed him protein shakes. There’s also an article about Hawthorn and how Clarko wants his charges to pull their head in and not get too confident. He like everybody else knows that Geelong were the best team in 2008 and the team to beat.

Well they say everybody’s flying at this time of year but it looks to me like the Demons list of nobodies are trying not to drown, Essendon is either in rehab or in the gym working on their chicken legs and the Hawks are not just training the house down but keeping their heads down. The Tigers though have Ben Cousins and with their newly recruited prodigal son, and a couple of aspiring messiahs, are looking to the promised land.